For Cloth

Before I had Clare I was squeamish. I was squeamish about being naked or my personal bubble being squeezed. I was squeamish about doctors visits. I was squeamish about moldy food and residue from bodily functions.

But I’m also a big hippie. Mooning people is not something I’m timid about. (sorry Mom and Dad)  Talking about the state of my bowels in public is something I do often as this blog can attest to. Blood does not phase me in the least. I wanted a natural childbirth more than anything.

Conundrum.

Andrew and I like doing everything ourselves. We like to cook our own food. We like to GROW our own food. We like to sew our own curtains. We like to doing our own renovations.

We’re also poor.

So when it came down to buying diapers our mouths dropped to the floor. The first week we had Clare I would say we threw out about 30 pounds of diaper waste! I’m not exaggerating though most of you know I am prone to do so. Seriously. 30 POUNDS! And those were the tiny diapers. Those don’t decompose for a long time folks.

This was Clare's reaction when I told her how much we used to spend on diapers.

So we switched to cloth.

I’ll be the first to say that as we approached the arrival of our new cloth diapers the only thought in my mind was, “What am I going to do with the poop?!” I know that many of your are thinking the same thing as your rub your belly or pat your toddlers head and think about being covered in baby poop up to your elbows.

I was afraid of getting peed on.

Well, I’m here to say that I made it. I have never been covered in poop and now after 6 months of using cloth I can safely say that I LOVE THEM! Andrew and I miss using clothe while we’re out or away from home.

Here are some pros for using cloth diapers:

• No trash – I get no greater satisfaction than taking out one small bag of trash a week.
• Money saver – we’ve saved about 200 or more dollars from using cloth
• Earth saver – We did not feel that using the argument of our convenience was a good enough excuse to fill up Clare’s future home planet with trash.
• No poopy smelly wafting from the trash in the nursery – you just plop and flush the poop. Clare loves watching her poop going “bye. bye.”
• I know what I’m putting on my diapers to clean them. Most of the time we have no idea what diaper companies put on baby products.
• Comfort – imagine wearing your own underwear or depends … come on.
• Coolness – Cloth diapers are cool now, not like the ones when we were kids with the safety pins and the crinkly plastic cover. They are water proof and come in all kinds of colors.
• Better for the beach. We used clothe diapers while at the beach with Clare. No saggy beach butt.
• It takes 10 minutes of your time a day. THAT’S IT!
• Less blow outs – Clare pooped like a million times a day and she would blow out every time in a disposable.
• We were already cleaning poop and puke out of her clothes.

Look, you have to follow your convictions as a person and a parent. I’m not saying cloth is for everyone. But I am saying that if you are on the fence you should try them – borrow them from a friend or just order a couple.

Here are some links:

Bum Genius

G Diapers

Fuzzibunz

I feel strange even having these in our house.

“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Ghandi

Product Review: The Bumbo

Bumbo Dumbo.

I KNOW that a lot of people really like this thing.

We were really excited to get this little South African bubble seat for Christmas.  We’re so grateful to have it and when we got it home Andrew and I were both so excited to try it out we were shaking.

Clare hated it.

She is the kind of girl that likes to stand and when I say likes I mean she would rather be standing and I’m convinced she would probably sleep better and longer standing up. Since she was three weeks old she has been a happier baby if someone, anyone, was willing to hold her up to balance on her tiny feet.

So the idea of sitting in a seat formed to fit your baby butt was not appealing to our child.

She arched her back and squirmed and basically threw a fit every time we put her in it.

Now before I really get into the review I want to say thank you to my wonderful parents-in-law who bought our Bumbo for us.  It was such a generous and lovely thing to get us.

Now let me beef.

Does anyone know where you can use the Bumbo?

On the ground.

That’s it!

Nowhere else.

Don’t try putting this on a chair cause there is nothing to secure it to an adult seat – not even a hole to put a strap through.

Don’t you dare put it on the table because let’s think about it people…the kid could tip back, and fall to their death on your dining room floor.

Don’t put it in the bathtub because they could easily tip it back again and drown.

I even felt weird leaving it on the wood floor to take these pictures.

Now they DO say you can use it at the beach…we live in Baltimore…I’m sure that WHEN we go to the beach it will be a wonderful tool…but…you know.

They call it, “an extra set of hands” but if you can’t leave the baby in it for a second while you dash of to stir the chili…then you might as well leave the baby with your two year old…it’s probably as reliable.

My other problem with this product is that fat babies don’t fit in them.  Their legs just don’t squeeze into the little tiny holes they have cut out. My friend said she literally can’t fit her baby’s legs into it. I see this as blatant discrimination against the fat kids.

Also, the babies on the package don’t look all that happy…couldn’t pull that off just for the shoot? Could ya?

I want to believe in the Bumbo.  I want to love it.  I like the colors they have.  I like the shape and the kiddish look to it.  But where can I use it? And when is it safe? I don’t know.  Maybe someone needs to teach me how to use it but for now…I’m confused. Maybe our next kiddo will like it.

In other parts of my world: Clare woke up at 1:30, 3:00 and 5:00 this morning. I was so frustrated and mad until I realized that this was normal for a lot of parents and babies. I love you Clare. Sleep on child! Sleep on!

I Tant Spell Good

Has anyone else noticed that all of my product reviews have been misspelled?!?!

No…not just that they have included misspellings but that the actual ITEM I AM REVIEWING is misspelled.

Really Val?

Come on…

Raise the roof Clare. Your mom can't spell!

I’m the fun mom…the weird mom.  I’m the kind of mom that is going to try to get involved when Clare has sleep overs.

“What do you want to do tonight girls?!”

“…MooooOOooom…could you leave us alone.”

“Oh but I thought we could decorate t-shirts with puffy paint and make pillow cases to take to the next sleep over.”

“We just want to watch movies and talk about how annoying our parents are.”

“Oh. Well then I’ll get out of your hair…unless you want me to DO your hair.” (big open-mouthed smile)

I’m that kind of mom.

But I’m not the kind of mom who teaches Clare to read by the time she is 3. I could barely read in 4th grade.

I'm so excited that she is asleep. Imagine how I am when she's awake.

But I’m just wondering why I couldn’t have looked up the spelling of the products I was reviewing.

WHY?!

Let me tell you misspellings give a lot of legitimacy to my product review.

It’s like I didn’t even use the exercaucers…whatever…or the booddpy…

And let me gripe right now about how weird baby names are for everything.

Why couldn’t they just call it a baby seat?

Or…a horseshoe pillow for big busted women?

Why couldn’t they call it a chest mounted baby carrier?

Why couldn’t they call it….oh wait…I get it.  The people who designed and named these products were probably just like me.  They wanted to name the product something REALLY COOL and fun and by proxy ended up making it impossible for people like themselves (me) to spell their stupid product names and then look like idiots when reviewing said products so that if they gave them a bad review no one would care because they obviously couldn’t be talking about the same thing.

Whew!

Glad I got that off my chest.

I’m gonna go eat a box of chocolate now.

In other parts of my world: I know you think your house is messy but mine is literally a disaster.  Don’t make me post pictures.

Product Review: The Excersaucer

I believe, my dearest friends, that I may have found peace on earth.

Every Christmas since I was 12 I’ve included a request for world peace in my wish list.

I’ve never received it, unbelievably.

I should have just asked for an Excersaucer – one big one to heal the world’s problems and occupy the people who are too bored and go around making trouble. Seriously folks. This thing is a miracle.

Peace! ...or she could just be giving you the middle finger...I'll have to ask her.

When I was about 7 months pregnant my sister-in-law Andrea asked if I’d like some old baby equipment. Knowing Andrea this could mean I would walk away with 2 strollers, an enormous pack and play, several high chairs, 3 baby gyms, 5 bags of children’s books and a couple nursing bras. She has the wonderful disposition that allows her to purge her life of unnecessary items easily – without drama or tears. I admire that about her as well as her generous spirit but know that I would not find it so easy to get rid of those hand-me-downs once I was no longer in need of them and then what do I end up with…

A basement FULL of baby toys.

It was for this reason that I didn’t take the body pillow from her when I was pregnant.

“No, Andrea. I’ll be ok. I’ll just stick a pillow between my legs and deal with it.”

I bought one the next week realizing I’d made a heinous mistake.

Having learned my lesson I decided to take just one item…the excersaucer.

Let me tell you…my life will never be the same.

This

IS

AMAZING!

Clare will literally occupy herself for 20 minutes.  She is as happy as a clam.

It gets her off her back.

It gives her space. (sometimes she needs a break from me being in her face all the time.)

It develops her leg, stomach and neck muscles.

She learned how to grab and chew on the saucer.

She dances and squeals and sings and smiles.

For a kid who constantly wants to be doing things beyond her age or capacity to do them, this is a life savor.

I can make dinner now people! And her little feet don’t have to dangle in the open flames while I stir spaghetti noodles. Nope. She can play safely in her saucer.

For you Acid Reflux parents it keeps your baby upright, decreasing eruptions and letting them play happily. Not to mention when they do spit up like Old Faithful all over the place the entire thing comes apart and is machine washable.

Now…the only down side to this runner up for the Nobel Peace Prize is that it takes up as much room as a love seat. It’s basically enormous and it normally comes in garish colors…so it’s not going to blend in people…and you’re going to trip over it. And even though I would still suggest getting one even if you live in a 25 square foot apartment in New York City you may have to sell your dining room table to make room for it.

Still worth it.

In other parts of my world: The kitchen is nearing the end.  Of course, I feel like it’s been nearing the end since we started it a month ago.

Product Review: The Boppy

Bum. Bum. Buuuuuuummmm…..

The infamous Boppy – a curved pillow they charge you 80 bucks for…and that doesn’t even include the cover.

Before I had Clare everyone told me that I absolutely needed one of  these things.

“They’re the BEST!”

Maybe they are but…I wouldn’t know.

Let me give you my honest opinion about this little lucky charm of a pillow.

It’s alright.

I didn’t use it for breast feeding.  Maybe it’s my extraordinary strength or my freakishly long torso. I didn’t need it and I felt like it was more of a hassle to get it and wrap it around my waist.

Now, Clare was good at eating but I can see how it would be a help if you had an inefficient nurser.  I can’t imagine sitting there for 2 hours holding a 10 pound baby. I can understand how a larger chested woman than I might need this little item. But…couldn’t you just get a couple pillow? Honestly?

I DID on the other hand use the Boppy to hold Clare while she was new born.  This helped change her position and made it possible for me to brush my hair or get dressed in the morning without me worrying about her falling off something and as a result…dying or something.

I let her nap in it sometimes. It was nice.

Then she got big and that wasn’t an option.

So I used it for about a month.

Maybe I will use our 80 dollar pillow when Clare needs to learn how to sit up on her own. But…probably not.

Do you need it? I’m gonna say, “no”.

Am I glad someone purchased this for us? Yes. Of course. How kind and thoughtful.

Could they have spent the money on something else? Probably.

On the bright side – I can use it while flying as a nice BIG neck pillow.

Do you think they’d charge me?

Product Review: Baby Björn

As my sister-in-law’s baby shower approaches I’ve been thinking a lot about essentials for bringing a baby home.

So I’ve decided to do some reviews of the products that were recommended to me, products that I love, products I hate and products I could give a ding-a-ling-ding-dong about.

My first review is the Baby Björn.

I LOVE the Björn!!!

LOVE IT!

I don’t know how parents live without this thing.

Now, I know it’s expensive. Our Grandfather bought it for Clare but it’s worth it.  If you can’t afford the Björn get another kind of baby carrier.  You’ll need one. I say just get your extremely generous relatives to buy it for you.

People, let’s face it…your arms get tired!!! I person needs some help.

Clare likes to be in the action so the Björn provided her with the ability to do that and relieved me of having to sacrifice one of my arms.  I could get things done while satisfying her insane need to be in the thick.

For babies with acid reflux, this little happy helper can be a life saver – keeping your baby upright and puke down.

It gets a ton of babies through “the witching hour” where they basically scream their heads off for no good reason. Don’t ask me how but it works.

It keeps your baby warm and close when you’re out on a walk or in the mall or cutting your Christmas tree…

We use it when going to restaurants to keep her quiet and to prevent her from getting overwhelmed. It works like a charm.  Even if she has had the worst day ever she will sleep through dinner at Red Lobster. You think I’m kidding? Not kidding.  Works every time.

I would marry Björn, whoever he is, if I could.

In other parts of my world: Andrew has been working tirelessly on the kitchen. I have no idea how he has the stamina. I’m tired just looking at him.

I Salute To The Swiss

In March, the month of my birth, I asked for a sewing machine.

I know.  Dorky.

I don’t care. Ask me if I care….

Ok… only a little… but mostly I don’t care that I’m admitting I’m a huge dork on the web.

I asked for a sewing machine and I got one.  Let’s call it the Bernina Crap Stupid model number #Stupid101.

This thing jammed and froze and hated me. Andrew would often hear swearing coming from the general direction of the loft in conjunction with the sound of my machine eating my current project.

But I kept using it.  I kept believing that it was the fact that I was a beginning sewer that caused the frequent frustrations.

I was wrong.

My mother and sister-in-law run a sewing camp during the summer.  This year they asked me to join (not take classes but be an instructor). I was flabbergasted but agreed and showed up early monday morning of last week with my Bernina Crap Stupid model machine.

The entire day the machine jammed and ruined pillows and pajama pants.  The entire day my mom had to come over and fix it. She would touch it and instantly it would be fixed.

“This baby loves me.  You just have to talk sweet to it.” she said.

…

“What would you think of switching machines with me?” she said in quick succession seeing my fury build.

My

Mouth

Dropped.

“Yeah. I mean, sure.  You know.  Whatever. I-i-it doesn’t matter to me.”

She called my bull and brought the machine in the next day to trade.

It was so heavy I couldn’t lift it for fear of going into early labor.

“What’s in this thing Mom? The entire Swiss National Guard? A huge condensed block of Toblerone?”

A glorious embodiment of all that is good in creation.

“It’s the weight of quality.”

Luckily my car didn’t drag on the highway back to my house and Andrew was successfully able to maneuver the tank upstairs to my sewing area.

I sat staring at it for a few moments, afraid to start and find myself disappointed again.

I knew I had to…so I did.

I pulled the thread through the zipzag maze of hooks and eyes and lowered my needle to then lift the bobbin thread out of its little cave.  I gently pulled the two threads behind the presser foot and slid my fabric over the feed dogs. I set the presser foot down with a clunk that said, “It’s too late to turn back now.”

Ever so hesitantly I began to press my foot on the peddle and there it was…

The sound of victory coming from my “new” Bernina 830.

A sound so lovely I have hardly words to describe it. A sound that echoed precision and the words, “I kick a–“.

A sound that could cure AIDS. A sound that breathes peace as it goes.  A sound that could destroy all nuclear weapons without harming a single person.

And when I finished the stitch the machine rang like Tinker Bell might have been inside – sprinkling gold dust all over my sewing.

This machine has made me a better sewer.

I can easily see myself writing a blog a week on how wonderful this machine is.

I can easily see myself searching the ebay and antique stores for other 830s and collecting them. I can see myself starting a club.  I can see Andrew considering counseling for me away from my most prized possession.

“Thank you for this Grammy.  I’d like to thank my parents and my husband and my delightful daughter.  I want to thank God but most of all…I want to thank my Bernina. I love you baby! WHOOOO!”

Don’t judge.

I know you are.

But if you only knew how glorious it is.

I mean…look at what it made!

This could have only been accomplished by my sweet, sweet Bernina.

I couldn’t have done this.  I basically let this enchanted machine do what it does best. I can’t take credit.

It’s the Swiss.  Chocolate, knives, sewing machines, general prettiness – what else have they mastered?

In other parts of my world: Winston found my pile of snotty tissues from this week’s cold.  He ate them…(eye rolling) He ATE them!