Snowed In

I’m sure all of my East Coast friends are twitching right now with anticipation for the next big snowfall.  Right now I’m thinking to myself, “Yeah. Another foot sounds great with my morning latte.”

I don’t want you to get the wrong impression.

I love snow.

I really do.

No, I’m serious this time.

I would marry snow if it were legal in this state.

I chose my college partially based upon the fact that it snowed there.

In fact, even though Andrew and I are from nearly the same geographical area here on the East Coast, we met in Grand Rapids, Michigan – the land for people with sun allergies.

We met in a land always blanketed with freshly fallen snow, a land where lake effect precipitation is constant throughout the winter and a land that in our freshman year only received 24 hours of sunlight in the month of January.

…

We’re used to snow.

We like snow.

But this…

IS CRAZY!!!In Grand Rapids we would get pretty consistent snow.  It might add up to 3 feet eventually but we never had this much all at once…

I remember one really bad snow storm where several (not all) of my professors were unable to make it to teach for one day of classes but school was not cancelled. The show went on.  People broke limbs falling on snow and ice while walking to class but school was never cancelled for inclement weather. Nope.

Bomb threat. Yes.

Snow. Never.

But this…

IS CRAZY!!!

See the bobcat? It's almost buried underneath all the snow.

We had a bobcat come down our street to plow.  He left a  barely passable lane for cars to squeeze down.  It took him an hour to plow our street while he crashed into the sidewalk and veered dangerously close to cars that were parked on the side of the road. He said that the trucks were just not able to make it down the street.

In Grand Rapids you might get horrible rust damage on the underside of your car from all the snow but you would but I never saw a bobcat plow our street or huge bulldozers maneuvering snow off the highway.

You might not see the ground until April in Grand Rapids but we never got this much snow in a week the entire four years I was there.

In Grand Rapids I always had a huge salt ring on the bottom of my pants but now I live in Maryland and I did that on purpose. I MOVED back on PURPOSE…so I wouldn’t have a salt ring any more…so I wouldn’t have to buy snow pants.

THIS IS CRAZY!!! And we might go CRAZY if we get any more.

Does anyone remember last winter when we had like…4 inches in March? (a tear just came to my eye)

I thought everyone was nuts when they were crowding the grocery store last Thursday night.  I thought my sister-in-law was joking when she asked if we had enough food to last.  Now I’m beginning to think all this weirdness is justified because we’re running out of milk and bread and my sister-in-law and brother have still not been plowed out.

THIS IS….

CRAZY!!!

Can you see me rocking in the corner, biting my finger nails off? “I like snow. I like snow. I like snow. snow. Snow. SNOW!”

In other parts of my world: Sweet Doctor Landrum said Clare was beautiful. Clare is in the 90th percentile for height and 50th for weight.  She is long and lean.  And let me tell you, after she gets vaccinated she sleeps like a bear stuck in a Canadian winter, like a middle school boy on Saturday morning, like Snow White before her prince kisses her.   Yay! Disease prevention! Yay! 2 and a half hour naps!

Something’s Come Between Us

Becoming a parent has had a certain impact on my marriage.

Giving birth definitely brought us closer. Because we weren’t playing scrabble we had to trust each other through every painful contraction. We understood each other in a new way.

But after we went home from the hospital we had to find a new rhythm…so to speak…in relating.

When should we talk?

How do we eat dinner?

What do we do when Clare isn’t awake?

We’ve had to figure things out again and only after a year of being married.

Now the renovation has put a hitch in our giddy-up but for the most part I would say we’ve normalized as parents. We’ve started to understand what our relationship as husband and wife looks like PLUS baby.

Well, the other night we were getting into bed after a long day. Clare had been finicky about naps and cranky right before we put her down. Andrew was exhausted from a full day of working on the kitchen and shoveling and when Clare WAS napping I was cleaning.

We each turned down the covers and slumped into our fresh sheets. Andrew reached to hug me and I hurried to get next to him for warmth. I was so thankful in that moment – knowing this person was standing by me and with me and willing to endure the my icy feet on his. I nestled in to give him a goodnight kiss and felt something strange…

“What’s this?”

I reached between our chests pulled out the object that had so rudely interrupted us.

It was a little bird, one of Clare’s toys, that had somehow made it into our bed.

We both had a good laugh.

And then immediately fell asleep snoring our heads off until the next morning when we heard little peeps coming the baby monitor.

Clare was not amused.

Bad Mom

We have Clare’s 4 month doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Now, whether or not we make it due to all the snow is one thing but let me tell you…I’m dreading it.

First let me make it extremely clear that I love our pediatrician. I LOVE her. LOVE her. She plays with Clare and loves her and treats her in the sweetest way every time we see her.

But let me TELL you! I get scolded every visit.

Last time it was because #1 I wasn’t giving her vitamin and two because she had cradle cap in her eye brow.

COME ON!

Ok. The vitamins they give babies make them smell like poop for a week and the baby ends up spitting it all over you because…let’s face it…if it smells like shiznit then it probably tastes like it too. And if it smells and tastes like it…then it probably is shitskawitski.

So I don’t give it to her.

I don’t even try. AND I HAVEN’T for the last 2 months. Nope. I’m sorry. I know I’m a bad mom. Look at me not giving my child vitamins.

And the cradle cap…let me beef about “Cradle Crap”. First, whenever something weird or gross happens to your baby and you freak out, like baby acne or clogged tear duct, and you call up the doctor almost in tears wondering what to do they just tell you to gently wash the area and leave it alone.

SOOOO…that’s what I did.

Wrong, Val. Wrong.

Evidently I was supposed to scrub it and scrub it and buff it until it was gone.

COME ON!

I scrubbed and it did go away.

Well…there are several issues that I know I’m going to get a slap on the wrist for this time.

First of all, though her eyebrow cap is gone she has developed a massive cradle cap farm on her head. I can’t get rid of it no matter how much I scrub.

I can just hear it now, “What are you doing about this cradle cap?”, Doctor will say sweetly.

“Oh, um…probably the wrong thing.”

Then, Clare has gotten into the habit of scratching her face when she is asleep. I trim those dagger nails every day but heck if I can stop her from finding a sharp edge on those things. Who cuts their kids nails every day? And still has little scratches all over her dear face?

Third, Clare hates reading. I try and try and she really only tolerates it for about 2 seconds. Ugh. I just know Doc is gonna ask if I’m reading to her…I’m not a liar but that may just change tomorrow.

Finally, I let Clare sleep with a blanket in her crib. In fact sometimes I let her sleep with TWO!

It gets COLD in our house at night and I’m not going to let my child freeze. Well, now she’s used to it. She digs her fingers into that thing like it’s a double chocolate cake and doesn’t let go until I pry it out of her hands when she wakes up. (thanks Tara and Carol)I’m so nervous I feel like it’s exam week in college. Maybe they’ll be closed tomorrow…

In other parts of my world: Looking for a treadmill…anyone got one they want to get rid of? Just think about how free and clear your basement will be. Yeah? Treadmill? I realize this is shameless.

Stuck

Stuck inside…

Nothing to do.

Just watch the snow…

And twiddle our toes. I mean, thumbs.

Letting Go

It’s not easy.

To let go, that is.

You know that movie from the 90’s about the wolf and the boy and their adventures in the wild?

What’s that called?

Oh wait…there are like a MILLION of those movies so if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all and it’s really not important that I take time to figure out the title because…let’s face it…who cares.

Anyway, you know that movie? And the end where the boy tells the wolf, “You’re not meant to be with me. You’re meant to run free and wild in the nature. Run, Boy! Run!”

And then the wolf pouts and leaves forlorn only to return when the boy is in serious danger from some evil oiler or something…

I never understood why the wolf had to leave.

I was that girl in the theatre asking her brother, “but WwwwhyYYYyyy does he have to go?! It’s not Faaiiirr!”

“Shut up, Val. I don’t know. Alright?”

The truth is none of us know…it’s just a tricky plot device that makes us feel something when it appears that all hope is lost.

Clare is smart but, even as her mother, I have to admit that she does not yet know everything. She’s very observant and brilliantly aware of her surroundings but she has trouble grabbing things sometimes, she thinks it’s ok to be naked when it’s 19 degrees outside and she gets frustrated when she can’t do something.

Often I can see her face fused in concentration as she tries with all her heart to accomplish something she has her mind set on doing.

It doesn’t work all the time and it’s usually here that she lets out a huge grunt or screech.

Recently I had her in her high chair (yeah. I don’t care that it might be too early. I told you she’s advanced didn’t I?). I had toys piled on so she could choose which one she wanted to bite and drool on. I could see her eyes select the item she wanted to devour or at least lick but as she went to lift her arm she found it impossible to do so.

She was holding on to her sweater and could not let go. I could see her agony building.

“Just let go of it Larry. You need that hand to grab your toy.”

Nope. She wouldn’t let go.  Even as I went to pull her hand off her sweater she would cling to it and used her baby death grip to keep her hand on her bright pink sweater and away from enjoyment.

When I turned into a mother…the minute Clare was born…I started to worry.

What if she dies…in a hundred different ways.

For example: We had a weird mold episode happen in our basement this last summer when I was pregnant with Clare. Andrew had recently been recalling the event to me to provoke some sort of laughter. I stood there open mouthed.  My mind started to crank – the mom worry brain.  What if I gave her mold exposure in the womb? What if she is stupid because our basement was humid for a weekend and she died from being stupid and I lost her.

Suddenly my life turned (s) into a Hallmark movie where everyone gets cancer and everyone is weeping all the time. “OH! CLARE! WHAT HAVE I DONE?! First you then your father dies tragically in a motorcycle accident and then on top of all that coffee is made an illegal substance and our tv breaks. What shall I ever DOoooo! All because of the mold! “

I don’t know why this happens as a mom.

I thought my own mother was ridiculous when she would freak out after getting a voicemail from me saying I thought I had a brain tumor (total hypochondriac) and then refused to pick up my phone for the next 3 days…

Now I get it.

What I’m realizing now, as Clare struggles to learn to turn over and grab things and skootch forward, is that I can’t be the hand on the sweater so to speak. I can’t continue to hold on to her in the same way while she learns and grows.

At her birth I was totally in charge of everything. But each day I have to let go a little more.  It’s hard.  Harder than I expected.

Somehow I don’t feel that letting go in our real lives is so much a plot device to make us feel as the little boy and the wolf might. But I do think that holding on out of fear or sometimes for no reason at all will always keep us from living FULL and spectacular lives. It’s important to let go.

Here’s to letting go of sweaters and grabbing onto a big fuzzy toy filled life and giving it a big satisfying bite.

I Tant Spell Good

Has anyone else noticed that all of my product reviews have been misspelled?!?!

No…not just that they have included misspellings but that the actual ITEM I AM REVIEWING is misspelled.

Really Val?

Come on…

Raise the roof Clare. Your mom can't spell!

I’m the fun mom…the weird mom.  I’m the kind of mom that is going to try to get involved when Clare has sleep overs.

“What do you want to do tonight girls?!”

“…MooooOOooom…could you leave us alone.”

“Oh but I thought we could decorate t-shirts with puffy paint and make pillow cases to take to the next sleep over.”

“We just want to watch movies and talk about how annoying our parents are.”

“Oh. Well then I’ll get out of your hair…unless you want me to DO your hair.” (big open-mouthed smile)

I’m that kind of mom.

But I’m not the kind of mom who teaches Clare to read by the time she is 3. I could barely read in 4th grade.

I'm so excited that she is asleep. Imagine how I am when she's awake.

But I’m just wondering why I couldn’t have looked up the spelling of the products I was reviewing.

WHY?!

Let me tell you misspellings give a lot of legitimacy to my product review.

It’s like I didn’t even use the exercaucers…whatever…or the booddpy…

And let me gripe right now about how weird baby names are for everything.

Why couldn’t they just call it a baby seat?

Or…a horseshoe pillow for big busted women?

Why couldn’t they call it a chest mounted baby carrier?

Why couldn’t they call it….oh wait…I get it.  The people who designed and named these products were probably just like me.  They wanted to name the product something REALLY COOL and fun and by proxy ended up making it impossible for people like themselves (me) to spell their stupid product names and then look like idiots when reviewing said products so that if they gave them a bad review no one would care because they obviously couldn’t be talking about the same thing.

Whew!

Glad I got that off my chest.

I’m gonna go eat a box of chocolate now.

In other parts of my world: I know you think your house is messy but mine is literally a disaster.  Don’t make me post pictures.

Product Review: The Excersaucer

I believe, my dearest friends, that I may have found peace on earth.

Every Christmas since I was 12 I’ve included a request for world peace in my wish list.

I’ve never received it, unbelievably.

I should have just asked for an Excersaucer – one big one to heal the world’s problems and occupy the people who are too bored and go around making trouble. Seriously folks. This thing is a miracle.

Peace! ...or she could just be giving you the middle finger...I'll have to ask her.

When I was about 7 months pregnant my sister-in-law Andrea asked if I’d like some old baby equipment. Knowing Andrea this could mean I would walk away with 2 strollers, an enormous pack and play, several high chairs, 3 baby gyms, 5 bags of children’s books and a couple nursing bras. She has the wonderful disposition that allows her to purge her life of unnecessary items easily – without drama or tears. I admire that about her as well as her generous spirit but know that I would not find it so easy to get rid of those hand-me-downs once I was no longer in need of them and then what do I end up with…

A basement FULL of baby toys.

It was for this reason that I didn’t take the body pillow from her when I was pregnant.

“No, Andrea. I’ll be ok. I’ll just stick a pillow between my legs and deal with it.”

I bought one the next week realizing I’d made a heinous mistake.

Having learned my lesson I decided to take just one item…the excersaucer.

Let me tell you…my life will never be the same.

This

IS

AMAZING!

Clare will literally occupy herself for 20 minutes.  She is as happy as a clam.

It gets her off her back.

It gives her space. (sometimes she needs a break from me being in her face all the time.)

It develops her leg, stomach and neck muscles.

She learned how to grab and chew on the saucer.

She dances and squeals and sings and smiles.

For a kid who constantly wants to be doing things beyond her age or capacity to do them, this is a life savor.

I can make dinner now people! And her little feet don’t have to dangle in the open flames while I stir spaghetti noodles. Nope. She can play safely in her saucer.

For you Acid Reflux parents it keeps your baby upright, decreasing eruptions and letting them play happily. Not to mention when they do spit up like Old Faithful all over the place the entire thing comes apart and is machine washable.

Now…the only down side to this runner up for the Nobel Peace Prize is that it takes up as much room as a love seat. It’s basically enormous and it normally comes in garish colors…so it’s not going to blend in people…and you’re going to trip over it. And even though I would still suggest getting one even if you live in a 25 square foot apartment in New York City you may have to sell your dining room table to make room for it.

Still worth it.

In other parts of my world: The kitchen is nearing the end.  Of course, I feel like it’s been nearing the end since we started it a month ago.

Baby It’s Cold Outside

I love having a baby in the fall.  I think it’s romantic but it does present a problem when said baby likes to be naked and it’s freezing outside as well as occasionally being cold INSIDE.

There are very few clothes she likes to wear but I must say that she tolerates hats the best…mostly because she still has access to her feet.

The hat pictured above was made by my lovely friend Kelly Meneely who I met in college.  She’s a pro knitter so when she asked for my address and said she had, “a little something to send me” I was totally excited.

My expectations were far exceeded and Clare loves the hat…especially eating it.

I have received so many handmade gifts for Clare that I thought it might be nice to spotlight some of them and the wonderful people who made them for us.

Thank you Kelly!

In other parts of my world: Thus far today I have had a cup of tea, a bowl of cereal, a cookie, a Dan Active yogurt, a slice of pizza and two scones.  I’m not kidding. All before 12.

Feet For Thought

Somebody found her feet.

Toe NO!!!!

I’ve made the horrible, horrible mistake of stripping her down to her diaper when she is really upset. It works but I think she figured it out because now she will fuss until I give her access to her feet.

I know you parents out there are shaking your heads.

Yeah.

That’s right.

I’m digging my own grave.

Cause next thing you know she is going to be having temper tantrums when I don’t let her put her grubby feet in her mouth.

But I tell you…that child is happy and it’s so cute how she grabs her left foot….(cute…eee…)

So I know I’m digging my own grave.

And I’m ok with it.

In other parts of my world: Just watched the state of the union and President Obama’s tie reminded me of a candy cane.  I was so distracted the whole time. Now I need to find an old cane from Christmas.  Hm….I have no idea what the state of the union is but I know what the state of my stomach is.  Hungry!

Product Review: The Boppy

Bum. Bum. Buuuuuuummmm…..

The infamous Boppy – a curved pillow they charge you 80 bucks for…and that doesn’t even include the cover.

Before I had Clare everyone told me that I absolutely needed one of  these things.

“They’re the BEST!”

Maybe they are but…I wouldn’t know.

Let me give you my honest opinion about this little lucky charm of a pillow.

It’s alright.

I didn’t use it for breast feeding.  Maybe it’s my extraordinary strength or my freakishly long torso. I didn’t need it and I felt like it was more of a hassle to get it and wrap it around my waist.

Now, Clare was good at eating but I can see how it would be a help if you had an inefficient nurser.  I can’t imagine sitting there for 2 hours holding a 10 pound baby. I can understand how a larger chested woman than I might need this little item. But…couldn’t you just get a couple pillow? Honestly?

I DID on the other hand use the Boppy to hold Clare while she was new born.  This helped change her position and made it possible for me to brush my hair or get dressed in the morning without me worrying about her falling off something and as a result…dying or something.

I let her nap in it sometimes. It was nice.

Then she got big and that wasn’t an option.

So I used it for about a month.

Maybe I will use our 80 dollar pillow when Clare needs to learn how to sit up on her own. But…probably not.

Do you need it? I’m gonna say, “no”.

Am I glad someone purchased this for us? Yes. Of course. How kind and thoughtful.

Could they have spent the money on something else? Probably.

On the bright side – I can use it while flying as a nice BIG neck pillow.

Do you think they’d charge me?