I officially played my first show since having Clare.
It was so amazing. I felt like someone had put a plug in my voice and playing this gig was like taking the stopper out and having this huge sound come out of me.
I honestly didn’t think I had it in me any more.
I guess every woman asks this question: Is there life after birth?
But seriously, I wondered whether things could be the same; if I could manage doing music again after becoming a mom.
I was ready to give up.
I felt torn between two worlds – my little girl and the songs that threatened to burst out of me.
And I thought…I don’t want to do both of these half hearted. So I’d have to give up music for my girl. And it would be worth it.
He then said to me, “Clare and I need you to keep singing. Give it up if you feel like you want to but not because you feel guilty.”
Andrew has always encouraged me in spite of myself. I’m generally a negative person and no matter how difficult it gets to hear me battering myself, Andrew always points me to the light and in the right direction.
That night he told me to take a step that I was afraid to take – a step I couldn’t see the end to.
And last night I did it.
Andrew didn’t get me flowers today but last night he stayed home with our little girl so that I could do what I love, what I’m made to do – sing. And in that way he loved me in the deepest and best way he possibly could.
Thank you Andrew for loving, in spite of me.