Becoming a parent has had a certain impact on my marriage.
Giving birth definitely brought us closer. Because we weren’t playing scrabble we had to trust each other through every painful contraction. We understood each other in a new way.
But after we went home from the hospital we had to find a new rhythm…so to speak…in relating.
When should we talk?
How do we eat dinner?
What do we do when Clare isn’t awake?
We’ve had to figure things out again and only after a year of being married.
Now the renovation has put a hitch in our giddy-up but for the most part I would say we’ve normalized as parents. We’ve started to understand what our relationship as husband and wife looks like PLUS baby.
Well, the other night we were getting into bed after a long day. Clare had been finicky about naps and cranky right before we put her down. Andrew was exhausted from a full day of working on the kitchen and shoveling and when Clare WAS napping I was cleaning.
We each turned down the covers and slumped into our fresh sheets. Andrew reached to hug me and I hurried to get next to him for warmth. I was so thankful in that moment – knowing this person was standing by me and with me and willing to endure the my icy feet on his. I nestled in to give him a goodnight kiss and felt something strange…
I reached between our chests pulled out the object that had so rudely interrupted us.
It was a little bird, one of Clare’s toys, that had somehow made it into our bed.
We both had a good laugh.
And then immediately fell asleep snoring our heads off until the next morning when we heard little peeps coming the baby monitor.