I’m not sure how to say this…
I’m not even sure that I should…
And the truth is that we’re not a good fit either.
I hate to say that old phrase, “It’s not you. It’s me.” But really it’s exactly what we’re up against.
First: Though he is a beautiful dog he is totally neurotic and weird. But he is much less so in Pennsylvania at my in-laws where he can roam around throughout the house and run all over their acre of land. A hunting dog doesn’t belong in a city with tons of noise and and little space – we literally only have a small back yard and with all the foot traffic going by he barks the entire time he is out there. He is not allowed in the basement because he gets into stuff. He is not allowed in Clare’s room for obvious reasons. He is not allowed in our room because he likes our bed too much. He won’t go upstairs very often. So he is restricted to a small area of an already small house.
He is 105 pounds and as hyper as a lap dog. So he is constantly running into walls and smacking his face into pieces of furniture. Imagine this when Clare starts to crawl or walk. It isn’t safe for her. Although we know that Winston would never intentionally do anything to harm Clare we also know that he has very little control over his size and strength.
Though we exercise Winston twice a day, which is more than most dog owners can say, his state of mind does not improve. It has gotten to the point where we are yelling or ordering all the time just to keep him under wraps and it is taking a toll on him.
When we leave him alone he eats the dry wall and scrapes at the wall until his feet are raw.
I know that people will say that I am giving up on him. I know that people will say I’m doing the wrong thing and just moving a pile of dirt. But the truth is that he is actually happier at my in-laws. He is calmer and more normal when he visits. And Andrew’s parents LOVE him. I mean…really…in a way we couldn’t.
We’re sorry to see him go but it’s just not a good environment for him as he is constantly on edge.
I wish, in so many ways, that I could have done more and worked harder for him to be happy here. I wish I could have just laughed it off. But that wouldn’t have changed the fact that he is miserable here.