Tummy Torture

I love how “Tummy Time” is just a cute name for torturing your baby in order to develop their stomach, neck and arm muscles.

The books and doctors make it sound so easy like, “Oh. Just put her on her stomach for 5 minutes twice a day and then up the length of time every day. It’s no big deal.”


It makes me wonder if the people writing instructional books on parenting have actually ever had an infant. Have they ever listen to their baby scream bloody murder?

Here’s what I’m up against:

Clare often wakes up starving…so I feed her. But if I put her on her stomach she will spit up all her milk.

“Just wait a half hour.” you say.  She is back to sleep within a half hour…I’m not kidding.  This kid sleeps MOST of the day (not that I’m complaining) and I have a very short window in which I can even attempt tummy time.  I guess I figure feeding my child is more important than preparing her to crawl…

This whole tummy time thing is making me feel bad.

If I don’t do it like they say then she won’t crawl and if she doesn’t crawl she won’t learn crisscross patterning and she will never read or walk or graduate from high school and then she will never move out of the house…ever…not to mention get a flat head.It’s simple…just listen to your daughter cry and whimper so that she grows…


Right now I’m writing this blog solely to ignore the bellowing cries of my child beside me who has five more minutes to go before I can pick her up and comfort her. She has actual tears coming out of her eyes and the dog is freaking out and my neighbors are ready to call the cops and all the while she is staring at me pleading with me to reach for her and save her from her misery.

Stupid tummy time….how I hate you.

In other parts of my world: Does anyone know a cheap place to cut down your own Christmas tree?


9 responses

  1. you should really make her read this in about 25 years when she’s 8 months pregnant and whining about not being able to sleep on her stomach anymore. i really want to come and tell her how good she’s got it…. 😀

  2. This is _exactly_ what Stephen would do. He hated being on his stomach until he was almost 8 months old–and so, since I am a pushover, he had about 3 tummy times in his first several months. I thought he was doomed to idiocy (though he never really got a flat head). But once he hit 8 months, he was off like a rocket. Within a few weeks of getting used to tummy time he was crawling, and a couple weeks after that he was pulling himself up and cruising. And he continues to crawl a lot–getting those brain connections embedded and coordination established–because it’s the fastest way he has of getting around. So now I can see that he is in fact destined for greatness.

    The moral of this story is not to worry about Clare’s development–as long as she’s in the time line range (and the range is wide), she’ll continue to be totally fine and brilliant and beautiful.

  3. I never forced ‘tummy time’ on my kids and they all learned to crawl and walk before they were even done with bottles. Tabytha HATED being on her belly, she was a ‘back baby’. She crawled at 10 months. John only liked being on his belly after he learned to roll over and from that moment on her was pretty much a ‘belly baby’ sleeper. And he learned to army crawl first at 7 months and hands and knees crawl by 8 months. Jessica was much like Tabytha and HATED being on her belly and began crawling at 6 months. All babies are different. You know your child better then any of those ‘baby books’. She’ll tell you in her own way what she wants/needs. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some GREAT advice and tips to be learned in baby books, but ultimately, it’s your child and you’ll find something that works for you all.
    (btw, Clare is such a beauty!!! Thank you for posting pics of her so we can all admire your beautiful baby!!)

  4. she is such a doll. like a actual child’s play doll that is so cute mothers think: this isn’t realistic–it’s too cute to be a baby. but it is real! it’s clare!

    she really is such a little doll baby…who doesn’t like to be on her tummer. but, what dolly does? they’re not made for it 😉

  5. I don’t think tummytime is supposed to be like enforced torture–my son wanted to be on his tummy from day 1 to sleep, hang out, etc…but if #2 doesn’t like it, I’m just planning to go with it and call time I spend lying on my back with him resting on his tummy on my chest tummy time. I think the point at the beginning is to get them exercising their neck muscles and avoid a flat head. If Clare isn’t dented and can move her head independently you are probably golden : )

  6. She’s so beautiful! And look at those outfits! I just love her. I’m so glad we got to see her this weekend. And you are so right about tummy torture! Our doctor said 15 minutes, 3 times a day!! I’m lucky if we got 3 minutes total. I couldn’t bear it! And yet, Sam is extremely mobile…

  7. You really should have this blog bound in a book and give it to your baby daughter when she is expecting…oh how romantic! What a lovely thought…lulu.com is a self publishing company.

    I read your blog often and enjoy it very much. I don’t know how I happened upon it–the right breadcrumbs I suppose. I will say that crawling, any mobility really, is overrated. You will soon wonder why you encouraged the notion of tummy time when she has amazing arms to bring everything her eagle-like laser vision can spot into her curious mouth.

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