I’ve never been a touchy-feely person…
That’s not true.
But then I wasn’t.
I remember being a very affectionate child but it just disappeared as an adult.
Not quite sure when that all happened but at some point in my life I just stopped being able to stand people invading my personal space, even my family. I realize that most people don’t like this but I have an extreme reaction. I cringe. I wince. I tense up. In fact when I found out I was pregnant with Clare (I’ll be honest) I was a upset because I knew there was nothing I could do about this person being “all up in my business” as they say.
Clare has changed my life in this way even in just the short time that she has been here with us.
Throughout my pregnancy I noticed myself voluntarily reaching out and rubbing someone’s shoulder or cupping their face lovingly with my hand. Most prego girls hate when people touch their stomachs…I was almost eager for people to pat my belly and share in the joy of the whole experience.
This must speak to Clare’s personality in some way but that, of course, is yet to be determined.
Since she has arrived I’ve become even more loving and outwardly affectionate – kisses and hugs and smothering everywhere. Even Andrew is receiving more sugary sweet attention than usual.
I have to say that I am enjoying this regression into affection. But it is not just my family that receives all this…
Yesterday I was talking to Andrew about something mundane and leaning against a doorway in our kitchen.
“Mhm.” I said sleepily as he told me about his plans for the evening. I gently pressed my forehead against the cool white molding and then it happened.
I kissed the door frame.
I kissed it as if it were my child’s cheek!
Andrew and I both stopped and stared at each other.
“Ok” I thought to myself, “this has gone too far.”
“Did I just kiss the door?”
“Yeah.” said Andrew, eyebrow raised, “That was weird.”
In other parts of my world: Clare has slept so long today that I was able to take a shower, brush my teeth, pack up all my borrowed pregnancy clothes, put a load in the wash and cleaned the kitchen…not to mention write this blog…what a doll.