Eat This Apple

You have to love going to the doctor.  You have to.

You just….

have to.

Andrew and I had our big “test you for diabetes” appointment this week.  I say Andrew and I because he decided to come, which I thought was terribly sweet and provided me with some much needed entertainment.

We arrived just in time for our appointment and they sent us back to the waiting area.  I peed in a cup and some more in the toilet.  They weighed me and squeezed my arm to figure out how well my veins are doing. Then….

we waited.

For 50 minutes.

Finally I hear the nurse say “Miss Ne..gb.a…” Andrew and I both got up.  Everyone gets my last name wrong. We followed her into the room, stared at the naked lady pregnant pictures and waited for our doctor.

Does anyone else find it strange that the OB always has huge posters of your uterus and your naked pregnant body everywhere?

Does anyone else find it strange that the OB always has huge posters of your uterus and your naked pregnant body everywhere?

Penny came in.  “How are you? Ok…soooo…it looks like you’re due November 30th.”

“WHAT??!!! I hope not! That’s two months after my due date! I can’t hold this that much longer!”

“Oh.” Penny gives me a strange look and scooted out of the room.

Heart rate rising – tears forming – break down unavoidable. Evidently I had heard the wrong name and had mistaken Nagiri for Nebbia – pronounce really poorly.

Ooops. (insert big awkward smile)

We find the heart beat and measure my freaking uterus.  Then comes the bad part.  Penny presses really low on my stomach to see if the head is down. While I wince in pain she apologizes and says, “Yep! The heads down. That’s good.”

After I recovered, Andrew and I laughed. Here we had been feeling her butt and thinking it was her head.  We were so sure something was her nose and it was probably a foot.  Evidently the head is a lot bigger and lower than we had thought.

This is kind of a weird picture of Andrew...but he was feeling awkward being surrounded by uteruses or is it uteri?

This is kind of a weird picture of Andrew...but he was feeling awkward being surrounded by uteruses or is it uteri?

I then got my Rogam shot, which is the RH negative shot that everyone has to get for their babies when they are a negative blood type. (Small sacrifice so your future children won’t get eaten by your antibodies.)

The nurse came in the room and said immediately, “It’s going in your butt.”

“Oh.” I said.

“Do you have a side preference?”

“No.”

You’ve got to respect that.  Don’t beat around the bush just go right for the bum.

Then we went downstairs to get my blood work done for gestational diabetes. We filled out a bunch of stuff and handed paperwork over the counter and the attendant informed us, “Oh, Miss Nebbia, we close at 5 and your test takes an hour.”

“Great! I got in right on time then.”

“No see…we close at 5 and you would finish your test at 5:10.”

What…

Are you serious?!

So…I have to go back

In other news: I hate Holocaust films but Andrew and I saw one the other day that I liked.  It’s called Defiance with Daniel Craig.  You’ll love it.  It’s inspiring and not super gory. Thanks to my father-in-law I watched a nonchickflick movie.  We watched the Changeling during my pregnancy and I almost had a mental breakdown.  I’m not suggesting you go out and see that.

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4 responses

  1. They make you sit in the doctor’s office for the one hour glucose test? That’s just mean. They gave me my orange drink at the appointment before and said, just note the time you finished drinking it and come in 45 minutes afterwards.

  2. I can’t believe they made you wait 50 minutes and then you still didn’t get to take your test… they so should have given you the orange junk when you got there if they didn’t give it to you at your last appt. Not that my outrage helps your situation at all. But man, would I be whining if I were you!

    I too think the preggo and uteri shots are so weird. Same with the 3D plastic molds of your uteri.. just more things for the toddlers to not be allowed to touch in that little room. 🙂

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