Feet In The Air

I’ve often considered my feet my one true beauty.  I’m not really sure how it started I’ve just always thought that they are the one thing on my body that looks exactly how it should.  I have a good solid arch and my toes gently slop down from the largest to the tiny little pinky on the end.  They are not so big that I have to shop online and they are not so wide that I can’t wear whatever the H— style shoe I want.

I have no idea why I have this picture...

I have no idea why I have this picture...

After finding out that we were pregnant, Andrew noticed a little spot on my heel.  I was forcing him to rub my feet because I was sick and feeling sorry for myself.  I still try to pull that on him now but it doesn’t work as well in the second trimester. He said, “I think you have a plantars wart.”

“WHAT?!! NO! I couldn’t!”

You see I have had plantars warts before. They are not as nice as they might sound…They hurt and they grow and they just suck.

I know. You’re wondering how I got plantars warts on my perfect feet. I’m blaming it on one of my brothers.

Andrew. He doesn't have any warts on his feet. (sad face)

Andrew. He doesn't have any warts on his feet. (sad face)

Anyway, the warts ended up going away by themselves and I just made sure to wear socks all the time and what not.  But this, this just seemed like a crime. I’m not a kid any more. I don’t deserve warts. I’m clean! I clean myself!…Daily!

I found out that while you are pregnant your immune system is sort of compromised and you are more susceptible to warts. Ew! Being the hypochondriac that I am I freaked out and blew it way out of proportion in my head.  “What if I become like that tree man in India?!”

Anyway, after the hysteria temporarily subsided I thought I might try to get rid of the small wart on my foot.  But it turns out that getting a wart removed is harder when you’re pregnant. Some of the stuff in the drug store hasn’t been tested on pregnant women.  (It seems to me that they should develop one just for pregnant women…duh.)

So I thought I would ask some people on facebook. I got an overwhelming response. (thank you)

Quite a few said, “go to a doctor”. Very wise. So I looked up my options at the docs. I’ve got Acid, Laser Treatment, Cryotherapy and Debridement.  I don’t like going to the doctors. So I’ll try anything else before debridement.

One friend suggested rubbing a copper penny on the bugger.  I looked it up and almost no one disagreed with this one! Isn’t that weird?

One person suggested rubbing a banana peel on it, which seemed to get mixed reviews.

Some people said duct tape. The American Medical Association actually recommends this one! I wish I had some duct tape…bummer. Evidently it smothers the wart so it just can’t survive. I found a ton of cool and somewhat funny suggestions on this website including the one about burning them off with a cigarette. (I laughed out loud at that one. End of your rope anyone?)

A bulls eye.  There's not room for the two of us on this foot, wart.

A bulls eye. There's not room for the two of us on this foot, wart.

At this point I would like to thank all contributors to my facebook status yesterday.  And now that I have read more about warts than I ever wanted to…I’m going to go take a shower in clorox.  (just kidding…but seriously…that’s how gross I feel right now)

In other news: My new favorite movie is Up. I cried (and I mean sobbed) for the first 20 minutes.  Good crying, but crying nontheless. And it’s not just cause I’m pregnant.  I’ve actually cried less as a pregnant person than as a vacant wombed individual. The movie is touching and beautiful and hilarious too.  It’s worth seeing in the theatre.  Andrew dragged me and I loved it.


4 responses

  1. What did we do before the internet? We lived with things and had not idea that duct taping a penny that was rubbed with a banana peal to our feet would be a good idea! But seriously how do you not have duct tape? Half the time that’s the only tape I can find in my house.

  2. it’s funny about your bath cause clorox was what, I think, worked for me. I’ve had two warts in my life time. one planter. one regular(ew, on my hand, gross). both went away with treatments of clorox on band-aid, and chlorine from frequent visits to the base pool. I soaked those sucker in both and they finally went away. don’t know if one has to do with the other, but if I ever get another one, that’s what I’m doing.

    I believe in the duck tape too. the penny sounds good also. whatever you do, I think the most important thing is to let the wart know that it is welcome to leave at any point. don’t anger it, just help it off your pretty foot 🙂

  3. I used to get planters warts all the time during high school in marching band season. i’d never recommend going to the doctors though. i went to the dr for a particularly horrible one, and he cut it out. that was one of the worst experiences of my life. i got more after that, but i always used rite-aid wart cream or wart bandaids or something bc i swore i’d never let them cut anything out of me again.

  4. If you do become like the tree man in India, let me know. I want to come take pictures. 🙂

    Seriously, I hope your plantar wart epidemic is over soon.

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